When Kids Are Different

“If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?”  Matthew 5:47 

It is a wonderful thing to be blessed with friends.  The Bible says the best way to have friends is to be one. What do you look for in a friend?  Do you want a friend who likes the same sports as you do?  Or do you like to spend your time at the movies with a friend or just hang out at the fun places in your city or town?  Do you like a friend who makes you laugh and makes you feel special? 

We all like people who like us; who like and accept us even if we’re bossy or quiet.  We like friends who make us feel good about ourselves. So how about those kids who are different from us and maybe even hard to love?  What about the kids you have nothing in common with them?  Do you have to love them too?

When I was in grade two I had polio.  I was very fortunate because I only had a mild form and could stay at home.  No lung machine for me.  My parents and doctor took pity on me.  They knew I dreaded to stay in the hospital.  I had a wonderful Christian teacher and after our house was no longer under quarantine she came to our house on a regular basis after school and kept me caught up on my lessons. 

I remember I started back to school shortly before Christmas.  My right shoulder and arm, where my polio had been concentrated, were still quite weak and useless so I had to wear a special brace.  My brace was made of steel rods and big leather straps that incased my back and front.  On my right side an iron padded lift protruded to hold my arm in place at shoulder level.  I always think of it as a robot arm.  Robot arms were not cool in class those years.

I felt very different from the other kids in my class.  They could use both arms to play any sport.  They could sit quietly with their hands in their lap.  My arm was very conspicuous. 

But I was very blessed.  My teacher always included me in every activity and helped me to adjust.  Because my teacher accepted and included me my classmates did too.  In fact I went to a level in popularity I had never had in grade one.

In the Bible Jesus teaches us to love not only our friends but also our enemies.  That doesn’t mean we should put ourselves in harms way and let people hurt us.  But we can be polite to everybody and greet them in a friendly way.  We don’t have to be best friends with kids who are different than us.  We aren’t all exactly the same size and shape even if we are the same age as our contemporaries.   In the same way everybody is at different levels of social and mental or emotional growth in their life so we don’t always relate well to each other naturally.  We have to work at it a little bit.

Our responsibility is not to judge them but to accept them where they are in their growth in life and make them part of our class or community as well.  Sometimes kids are having a hard time adjusting because their parents are going through a divorce and they feel that no one likes them.  Sometimes no one has taught them social skills so they act out to get attention. You can make a difference in their life by just being kind to them.

You can include them in school activities and small talk on the school grounds. You can choose them to be on your baseball or soccer team or debating team if they qualify.  If they don’t have the right skills you can take some time to teach them. You can be a godly influence in their lives by interacting with them in after school activities.  As other kids see you accepting them they too will more easily accept them.

Jesus says that if we love those kids who are different then us we are realistically acting as God’s true children.  God lets His sun shine on both the evil and the good, and He sends rain on the just and the unjust. He calls us to be just like Him.

Going Deeper as Parents:

We have a great influence on our children.  Often kids become what their parents are.  Our relationship with God and others also reflect themselves in our kids.

Just as we long for our kids to be friends with their siblings, Jesus longs for us His children to love each other.  He says we will be known as His children because of our love for each other.  The Bible says we cannot love the unlovable on our own.  It’s as we let God’s love fill and overflow to others that we are able to love each other as God does.  We can’t love others through God’s power if we don’t believe God loves us.  It’s as we draw close to God in reading His words of love in the Bible and in praying from our heart to Him, asking Him to reveal His love to us that we are enabled to please Him.